...or do they?
When Anthony and I met for a drink at The London Hotel on Beach Street in Port Melbourne for our first date on the 15th of November 2005, there was no denying an instant attraction. As our relationship unfolded over the weeks and months ahead, it appeared our initial perception of how similar we were, on the surface, became quite the opposite. So what were we really attracted to and why?
To give a very brief background, both of us had already undertaken a degree of personal development before coming together. On the weekend we first made contact we were at a powerful personal transformation seminar. So, when we dated about three weeks later, there was nothing to hide, we thought we knew all we needed to know about each other’s ‘skeletons’ and were now in a place of like mindedness. It wasn’t long however, before we began perceiving radical differences and believed these difference to be the cause for much disharmony, confusion and unrest in our new found ‘love’.
Had the feeling that some Divine influence was responsible for bringing us together, not been present, it would have seemed easier to conclude this relationship early. It was as though we knew where every pain button existed on the other to bring up disagreement and each other’s deepest hurts. We became masterful, it seemed, at rubbing each other up the wrong way. So why did we stick it out?
There were a few fundamental concepts about relationship, to this point, that had resonated with us enough to cause us to willingly put them to the test. We only wanted to be in relationship if it could be fantastic as neither of us were interested in mediocre. So, we tested concepts like, if you perceive something in another that causes you any upset it is a reflection of an unhealed part of you; and, everyone is your perfect mirror; and, you can change the relationship, however you will keep recreating the circumstances over and over again until you get the lessons – in other words, different face, difference name, same old stuff.
As I mention earlier, at this point in the relationship it seemed much easier to end it when the going got tough (which was about three weeks after our first date :0)) however, neither of us were keen to jump in and out of relationship to bring about personal healing and growth. Further, there was that Divine connection thingy going on. We genuinely felt we had the potential to create magic together and even though we had no idea what this meant nor was it very evident in our life at the time, we kept finding the patience, the compassion, the forgiveness and the will to make adjustments and go the next mile.
While everything about us seemed opposite such as our religious beliefs, our attitudes to accumulating assets and wealth, family relations, our culture, our values, and our behaviours, we were alike in this regard; we both wanted to experience an extraordinary love relationship and much more… It was our perceived opposites and differences that became the essence for our greatest individual change.
As the overall title of this Blog site indicates, I’d love to chat with you about your current views on what attracted you to your partner and why and whether or not you are enjoying your version of a great relationship or just sticking it out and if so, why. I also welcome any queries or requests for clarification about anything I post.
Until I post again…
Live the Life you Love