Universal Truths

Whose Got Personality…?

 

"Keys to a Better Life"

When I find myself challenged by, or taking a disliking to, someone's personality style, I choose to recognise who they really are and what it is they are in my life to teach me about myself.

I have come to understand that there is not a single person in my life that isn’t here for a reason. I also recognise that what I resist persists and the reason it does is because our conditions are "Sign Posts" that reveal temporary states of consciousness we have assumed about our self.

When I resist someone, I know it is due to my thoughts, values and beliefs (states of consciousness) about me, and them, and that instead of making an observation, I have made a judgement ("Judgements VS Observations"). 

When I come from a place of Love, I immediately begin to gather learnings through insight, rather than through pain.

So, when my interactions with another produce feelings of annoyance, frustration, disapproval, anger or what not, I change these undesirable conditions by addressing the Cause.

The First Cause of all my conditions, the undesirable and the desirable ones alike, are the thoughts I have with feeling. I then become Aware of exactly what it is I seemingly dislike and I name it, for example:

• He’s lazy
• He’s nasty
• She’s controlling
• She doesn’t say ‘hello’
• They don’t talk to me
• They’re too quiet
• They don’t recognise the value I bring
• And so on… 

With my Awareness (Key No. 1) list produced, in writing, from a place of Uncritical Observation (Key No. 2) I consider the stories I’ve been telling myself about these perceived dislikeable personality traits.  By doing so I am able to identify the thoughts and feelings that produced these temporary conditions.

Generally, we are taught to only change our conditions, yet conditions are second cause and no matter what we do to change or retain them, we are challenged to do so on a permanent basis.  Even when the problem at hand appears to be gone, in what will feel like no time at all we are likely to reproduce a new set of conditions, including new faces and names, that generate the same old undesirable feelings.  Have you every changed your job, your car, your home, or your partner in the hope of a new start, a better feeling, more enjoyable conditions - only to reproduce undesirable ones again.

The problem is we try to change the other when there is no other, there’s only one of us getting around in seemingly separate vehicles we call physical bodies however this is an illusion based on limited teaching. There is much evidence, including that of a scientific nature that tells us we are all intricately connected through and by one cosmic ether or energy.

So to make any changes to anyone, or anything, outside of us we are to change the Cause - The First Cause; our Thoughts about them.

When I need to change my thoughts about someone, in order to change my outer conditions, I go inside.  I recognise the place Love reside in me and contemplate what do I now desire (Key No. 3) and wish to experience with this person. I begin thinking about what it would be like to have a lovely relationship with this other; without comparing it to or needing it to be like any other relationship I know. I think about how this great relationship makes me feel. The more I consider what it sounds, looks, and feels like to have a desirable relationship it will also be revealed to me who I am to Be and what I am to Do and Say differently that would assist produce different outcomes - ones I now thoroughly enjoy.

This person carries keys and gifts to my healing and wholeness...and I know they come bearing gifts, because if they didn’t they wouldn’t be playing a prominent role in my life.

"God’s sends nothing but Angels" – NDW

To complete the Awareness is the key and all the rest is 1, 2, 3 process, every time I think of this person, I live in the feeling of my wish fulfilled that we now enjoy a terrific relationship. I give thanks (Key No. 4) to that higher part of me and Creator of all things that makes what I think about with feeling a reality, and produces like conditions in my life…for mine and everyone’s greater enjoyment.

until my next post…
Live the Life you Love
J. x

Welcome

"Keys to a Better Life"

Hello, if this is your first visit to the Universal Truths website, welcome!

To gain a personal experience from the cutting edge and age old transformational information posted here as "Keys to a Better Life" (Awareness + 1, 2, 3), we recommend starting at the beginning.

Our Blog is in chronological order and the first post is titled "Greetings".

To find out more about us, including our service, purpose and passion, please click here or on the links to the right of the page.

Enjoy!

Live the Life you Love                                 Love the Life you Live
~ Joanne Mangion                                                 ~ Anthony Harvey

Decisions Decisions Decisions

 

"Keys to a Better Life"


“Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, 
than to be able to decide.” ~ Napoleon Bonaparte

Recently, someone (I’ll call her Carol) asked me for a method to assist her and her husband (I’ll call him Mark), make decisions in a more easy and elegant manner.

Carol told me that she and Mark made good decisions, ultimately, but the process to get there was often slow and arduous.  Frequently, it also involved one of the parties giving in even though the outcome still usually ends up being good for both. More and more they are finding that decisions that carry greater weight or importance are taking longer to process.

There are many aspects from which to consider this seeming quandary. My endeavour today is to revisit some basics and provide some options, in point form, for this couple’s, and our own, consideration and discussion.

Being able to make decisions easily and elegantly
in relationship means having a values match and
a defined communication process.

Therefore, the manner in which we communicate, primarily with ourselves and then with another, needs to be considered. Everything we say and do is an outflow of our beliefs and our beliefs are a reflection of our values; for information about how our beliefs and values are formed visit What's Important to You.

So, some questions to ask, and activities to consider, to improve decision making (communication) between couples include:


Identify current beliefs around ‘couple communication’?

That is, what have I perceived; had demonstrated to me; and learnt from other couples (predominantly my parents) about communication and decision making?

What can occur in many instances is that we act out our own individual expression of what we’ve observed and learnt from our carers, whether we liked what we saw or not, consciously or unconsciously.

What’s important to me regarding communicating with my most Beautiful Friend?

As a base, I must first decide that I truly enjoy and wish to be in this ‘intimate relationship’ with another. That means always having another to consider for if I wanted to live life one way, my way, I may need to reconsider if I am in the right place, at the right time, with the right person. 

Assuming I am desirous of being in relationship with this other, meaning that I select and accept that I am in a co-dependent union and that at its base that means I am with someone I wish to enjoy a wondrous journey with, whatever that means to each of us, the next thing to do is become Aware of what currently is ‘undesirable’ and that I would now like to change.

A way to do this is to make a list of things you ‘don’t like’ about a) your own; and b) your partner’s communication style, in this order. Then transform each of the items on the list to ‘likes’.

The ‘don’t like’ list is Awareness; the first step in the Universal Truths “Keys to a Better Life” – and all the rest is 1, 2, 3.

Some quick examples here may include:


What I don’t like about my current communication style is:

Becoming impatient
Feeling inconsequential
Feeling ignored
Talking to a brick wall
Not being acknowledged
Getting angry
Nagging


What I don’t like about your current communication style is:

Not sharing your thoughts and feelings
Not taking time to discuss important matters
Not considering me
Not acknowledging what’s important to me
Ignoring me
That you probably see me as a nagger
That you don’t take action

What I would like in my communication style is:

To be patient and listen actively
To feel worthy
To be engaged in meaning discussions with my Beautiful Friend
To be heard
To communicate in a loving and friendly manner


What I would like in your communication style is:

To be comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings
To be trustworthy with your dreams and desires
To be considerate of me in our decision making process
To be an active listener with patience
To be a loving and friendly communicator
To become active once we are in agreement 

With the 1^st version of our values defined, the next step is to:

Identify what you (yes, what you would now change about yourself) in order to Be the person and style of communicator you have identified you like.

Take each of the communication styles you identified you ‘like’ for you and for your partner and change each to an ‘I am’ statement, e.g.

I am a patient and active listener
I am worthy
I engage in meaning discussions with my Beautiful Friend
I am heard
I am a loving and friendly communicator
I am comfortable sharing my thoughts and feelings
I am trustworthy with your dreams and desires
I trust you with my dreams and desires
I am considerate of you in our decision making process
I play my part once we are in agreement

Carol and Mark would then commit to sharing their findings about who, and what, they are personally willing to be and do to improve their communication - with an accent on improving their decision making process. They will gain clarity from each other along the way by asking questions like “what does ‘being a patient and active listener’ mean to you exactly?”, “how will you demonstrate/how will I know that you feel heard?”

Due to the natural Law of Growth this process of transitioning from where we are to what we now desire to be takes time to unfold in this three dimensional (time/space) reality of ours.


Perfect practice makes perfect.

Have fun and allow your ‘ideal’ communication style with your partner to be
expressed by Being and Doing the things identified above.  We cannot make a wrong move because we are entertaining new thoughts and developing new beliefs about our ‘ideal’ communication style with our partner. The being and doing of these, in order to have the experiences we desire, are NEW, never carried out before by us and, there is no one else to do them our way but us.


There is no one to change but ourselves

Finally, I trust you have identified that there is ‘no thing’ we are to do, or can do to change another.  This is the time to make everything we identify and define personal. By becoming the person, and doing the things, we wish to see in another we attract like conditions.

How then does our communication improve? Because we each must decide at the very beginning we want to take this journey together, with our beautiful friend. Doing so means finding ways and means to co-exist in a joyful, loving, easy and elegant manner. If we don’t pass Step 1, a one hundred step process won’t make any difference. 

Awareness is the Key and all the rest is 1, 2, 3.

Your queries and comments are always welcome...

We offer weekend Couples Courses to assist couples transition from where they are to where they now desire to be.

until next time...
Live the Life you Love
J. x