Universal Truths

Planning Precedes Performance

"Keys to a Better Life" 

I often hear individuals say they are desirous of living an "authentic life".

I too was desirous of this and it was my coach, beautiful friend and partner, Anthony, who reminded me that we can’t live anything but an "authentic life". After all, there is no other version of you and me on the planet. We are unique, one of a kind, therefore how could it be that the life we are living, here and now, be anything but authentic?

If this is so, how could it be that we were living authentically and often felt so miserable? What was it about the lives we were leading that felt so incongruent?

As we journeyed we discovered, amongst many things, that many facets of our personality were adopted...

To see how this could be so, let’s take a look at the definition of personality*:

1. The quality or condition of being a person.
2. The totality of qualities and traits, as of character or behaviour, that are peculiar to a specific person.
3. The pattern of collective character, behavioural, temperamental, emotional, and mental traits of a person.

Where did these qualities, conditions, traits, characteristics, behaviours, temperaments, and emotions originate from? Initially at least they were learnt, taught to us, and adopted as we observed and profiled others, thought on things repetitvely, and formed our values and beliefs - consciously or unconsciously.

In the same way all skills, abilities, and expressions are mastered, like crawling, walking, language and so on, we take on these facets of our personality through slow normalcy and repetition.  And, depending on the extent of awareness and practice we dedicate to the task, we become anywhere between poor and extraordinary at expressing them…whether we like them or not.

When enough was enough, we discovered there was no time like the present to plan an ‘ideal’ version of our Self; so plan we did…

• We planned our new personalities
• We planned our ideal future
• We planned our greatest desires for the next year, month, week and day
• And these days we plan about pretty much everything...!

After we plan, we implement…we contemplate and meditate about the next inspired action(s) to take and we go for it! Some days we are better at this than others...but whatever the season, there are two things for sure, one is we never give up and the other is we are always getting better!

Today, we continue to define and refine these plans because there is no doubt in our minds and experience that "Planning Precedes Performance".

When we desire to excel in or at something, we require a plan of excellence to ensure that success because after all, "Like Attracts Like".

until I post again…
Live the Life you Love
J. x

Related post: What's important to you?

* Source: thefreedictionary.com/personality

When I Thought I Had Lost My Mind

"Keys to a Better Life" 

Have you ever had a feeling that you’ve kind of lost sight of yourself? That you’re not sure if your Arthur or Martha? Coming or going? Here or there? Those “What the heck is going on?” moments and “Who the hell Am I?”  I sure have!

These moments were usually preceded or accompanied by a level of intense intolerance and irritation for everything and everyone around me, especially my partner. There was this overarching bewilderment of, “Why is everyone so darn incompetent in life?” yet everything that was not right always seemed to end up being my fault.    

After years of roller coasting in and out of these ‘moments’ I came to the point of feeling “I really don’t want to get out of bed today!” and “oh, what’s the use?”

For the most part, I did keep getting out of bed, until I didn’t.  I assured myself I’d “get over it”, or “it must be that time of the month”, or “what the hell have I got to complain about” and so on. I felt guilty, weak (despite my strong exterior), empty, sad, and lonely. I mostly felt very, very lonely (even though I was usually around others every day and night).

On top of this, life always seemed busy and when I thought life couldn’t possibly get busier, it did.  I felt like a rag doll being pulled from pillar to post yet never seeming to please anyone; no matter how hard I tried. I felt like I was the only one who really put in at work, at home, in maintaining friendships and family relations and yet it seemed it was never enough.

The results?

I became exhausted, fed up, disheartened, frustrated, withdrawn, and unhappy. I suffered with migraines, cold sores, back aches, neck pain, shoulder pain and a host of other undesirable conditions. I felt unappreciated, hopeless, despondent, unloved, and unattractive, and being intimate became the last thing on my mind.

I rode this roller coaster sufficient times to go from seeking a temporary ‘respite’ – a day off as sick leave here and there (which I referred to as “mental health days”), or stringing two or three days together (if I could muster the energy and courage to fetch a doctor's certificate), and sometimes I would go away for weekends. Then, I thought I reached the point of no return and began contemplating a ‘permanent out’!  It wasn't until I reached this point that I changed course and began defining and designing a new ME!

I figured that if I was going to consider ‘checking-out’ of life,
temporarily or permanently,
why wouldn’t I just change everything I didn’t like about it instead?

So I did!

I changed many things! In one way or another, I changed my job, my clothes, my home, my home state, my friends, and even my partner. And while today I have turned these not always pleasant changes into positives, I am writing this post to the friends and loved ones in my life, and to whomever it may concern, who now find themself in their own version of a “what the heck” moment.

As I have written before, we can change the name and the face, the car, the home, the job, and the ‘everything’, within our current environment yet there will remain the one constant in it all…OURSELF!

Friends, the problem is never the problem and when the mirror reflects back at us a version of our self that we are less than delighted with we don’t smash the mirror.

Over the past decade or so I have made it a specialty to recognise patterns in my life. It is what enabled me to overcome manic depression and a bunch of ‘other’ undesirable conditions.  Through activities such as journaling, researching, experimenting, observing, contemplating, and being coached, I began noticing patterns; patterns of thought, patterns of behaviour, and patterns of emotion; all of which ultimately led to patterns of conditions.

My aim, as I began gaining a better understanding of life via new information, activities and experiences, was to derail this roller coaster ride and transition instead from where I was to where I wanted to be in an easy and elegantly manner and with rapid lasting change.

All of these Universal Truth blog posts are dedicated to sharing about the areas Anthony and I addressed, and continue to address, to transition towards living our ‘ideal’ life.

In my next post, I specifically address a significant aspect of this transition and that is that “Planning Precedes Performance”…

until I post again…
Live the Life you Love
J. x