Part 2 of 2
7 Relationship Blueprint Updates
Writing these Relationship Blueprints has again caused me to consider some of the key concepts that Anthony & I tested and implemented as a couple in business, that had and continue to have a profound impact in moving us, our relationship, and our affairs from contraction and undesirable conditions toward joy and ever increasing expansion.
Listed are 7 powerful Relationship Blueprint Updates that you may wish to consider and test. As with all change, these too take a degree of practice before a return on investment yields lasting results. This, we are told, is due to the natural Law of Growth.
Although it would be impossible to reach the potential that these Relationship Updates offer when correctly applied, we quickly become part of the evidence that even a small tweak to our self, here and there, can make a world of difference and a difference to the world in how we relate to and with others.
So here's the first Update:
Update 1: From What the heck don't you get to Know Thy Self
Have you ever felt like it wasn't just your words that got lost in translation but your life? That nobody gets you and that at times you barely recognise yourself and what your life has come to? Consider this, of the person or people you spend most of your time with each day, what percentage of your thoughts and feelings would they be aware of..? What percentage of your own thoughts and feelings are you aware of as you move about your day..?
Some of us were taught that what someone does for a living tells us who they are, that’s why we’ve been programmed to ask each other how our day went and what we got up to. Yet, who we are is a result of what we think about with feeling all day and not about what we are doing. And for those that haven’t heard it said before that’s why we are called human beings and not human doings.
To get to know someone better, including our self, we can ask, "What did I(you) invest my(your) time thinking about today?" And, "What feelings did these thoughts generate?"
When we can answer these questions consistently to our self we can ask another about them. Prepare to listen well and offer to go first many times before another may be willing to participate. It is preferred by some to capture their responses in a journal.
In the words of Pythagoras, "Man know thyself; then thou shalt know the Universe and God.”
Update 2: From Everyone is incompetent and ignorant to Everyone is doing the best they can with the information they have
I believed everyone was doing the best they could with the information they had when I asked myself if I was.
I found I was doing the best I could even when I felt misunderstood and was continually in conflict with others. However, when I sought and found additional information, I was then able to experience better relationships and conditions and was able to shift my life toward becoming exponentially more positive and therefore more ideal.
A key to gaining additional information was to stop telling myself the story of what I no longer desired and began telling one that reflected my ideals. To this I added the faculties of imagination and visualisation as well as meditating on feeling the feelings of my wishes fulfilled.
Update 3: From Nobody knows anything to Every man is my teacher
I knew just how little I and others knew when I began gaining additional information about the Cause of Life.
Before that, it appeared to me that most folks were incompetent and ignorant. Now I know, as mentioned above, that they were also doing the best they can and I have changed my perception to folks are my mirror reflecting back at me an array of available states of consciousness or personalities within a sophisticated contextual field we call Earth.
The truth is we all know things, many things in fact and it is these things (based on our thoughts, beliefs and values) that are shaping our life for negative, positive, or even more positive experiences.
Today, I understand that everyone is my teacher because everything they say and do has the capacity to teach me something else about myself.
Update 4: From Should-ing all over others to Teaching what I want to learn most
When you use the word should with someone next, I invite you to take a moment to repeat the same sentience to yourself. For example, "you should watch what you say in front of the kids" to "I should watch what I say in front of the kids." Or, "You really should look after your health." to "I really should look after my health."
To stop should-ing all over others it is necessary ultimately to eliminate the word from our vocabulary altogether. When Anthony or I use this word on the odd occasion these days we are pretty quick to pick it up and correct our language. Using the word should seems disempowering and doesn’t feel friendly and uplifting. We found that using it somehow implies wrong doing, disappointment, shame or regret.
Words that are empowering and can easily replace it are Could, Can, Might, May and Will. For example, "You might watch what you say in front of the kids" or "You really could look after your health more." and "I can watch my thoughts and words more closely."
These days, I teach what I want to learn most by sharing blogs, posting status updates, having consultations, coaching sessions, or presenting someone with options via text, email or phone. Each time I know I am telling them what I need to learn most. So I listen carefully to what all parities have to say because there is bound to be gold in it for me too.
Update 5: From Hear me. Hear me. Hear me to Seek first to understand before being understood
When I first became a student of mental science (new thought), including metaphysics, I wanted everyone to know and feel the information and liberation that came with this ancient wisdom. I had a drum to beat that was inspirational and fun so I got around in a bit of a hear me or suffer in your ignorance type approach.
These days, believe it or not :o), I am quieter than I was, especially in social settings. I prefer to seek first to understand where someone is at on a particular topic or subject and then, if and when appropriate, share another model of the world that also exists and is assisting us achieve our desires at home, in business, and in relationship.
Update 6: From Come on, I'll show you who is better to There is no competition only personal best
With a shawl of Everyone is incompetent and ignorant around my shoulders; a keen dancer; and an older sibling, I learnt competition young.
I learnt early about winning and losing, kill or be killed, and I enjoyed collecting medals, trophies and accolades.
Today, I understand that there is no one coming to take my place or play my part. I know that there is not another soul in the universe who is here to do what only I can do. Therefore, I also now know that there is no rush, no threat, and no competition. It is my personal best efforts alone that produce my conditions and outcomes.
Update 7: From No! to Yes, and...
There was a period when Anthony & I began noticing that we were unintentionally making each other wrong in communication. For example, we may be chatting about something and one of us would make a suggestion. Our conversations went from responding with something like, “No! I think we should do Y.” to “Yes, that’s a good option, we need to consider this and that, and another option could be…”.
When we decided to act like best friends, and lovers, we began chatting with each other rather than talking at each other. The magic is in the couple when united values are based on love and beauty. It is in this way that our chats that used to lead to arguments now lead us perfectly to an approach that meets our needs and desires as well as producing pleasant conversations…
In closing: Self awareness is not something we can bestow on another, nor can we decide when another will have the experience. Those who know us also know that Anthony & I believe the magic is in the couple or the partnership (whatever form this takes) because while all awakening is golden, when we can experience this with our most beloved, or a mutually invested partner for example, to us this means having a constant best friend by our side to experience the highs and lows with, keeping each other buoyant and on track with what we say is ideal, and that special someone to cry and to celebrate with.
On our journey these precious moments became, and continue to be, our saving grace.
until I post again…
May all your relationships be joyful ones; and
Live the Life you Love