Universal Truths

Relationship Blueprints

Part 2 of 2

7 Relationship Blueprint Updates

Writing these Relationship Blueprints has again caused me to consider some of the key concepts that Anthony & I tested and implemented as a couple in business, that had and continue to have a profound impact in moving us, our relationship, and our affairs from contraction and undesirable conditions toward joy and ever increasing expansion.

Listed are 7 powerful Relationship Blueprint Updates that you may wish to consider and test. As with all change, these too take a degree of practice before a return on investment yields lasting results. This, we are told, is due to the natural Law of Growth.

Although it would be impossible to reach the potential that these Relationship Updates offer when correctly applied, we quickly become part of the evidence that even a small tweak to our self, here and there, can make a world of difference and a difference to the world in how we relate to and with others.

So here's the first Update:

Update 1:  From What the heck don't you get to Know Thy Self

Have you ever felt like it wasn't just your words that got lost in translation but your life? That nobody gets you and that at times you barely recognise yourself and what your life has come to? Consider this, of the person or people you spend most of your time with each day, what percentage of your thoughts and feelings would they be aware of..? What percentage of your own thoughts and feelings are you aware of as you move about your day..?

Some of us were taught that what someone does for a living tells us who they are, that’s why we’ve been programmed to ask each other how our day went and what we got up to. Yet, who we are is a result of what we think about with feeling all day and not about what we are doing. And for those that haven’t heard it said before that’s why we are called human beings and not human doings.

To get to know someone better, including our self, we can ask, "What did I(you) invest my(your) time thinking about today?" And, "What feelings did these thoughts generate?"

When we can answer these questions consistently to our self we can ask another about them. Prepare to listen well and offer to go first many times before another may be willing to participate. It is preferred by some to capture their responses in a journal.

In the words of Pythagoras, "Man know thyself; then thou shalt know the Universe and God.”


Update 2:  From Everyone is incompetent and ignorant to Everyone is doing the best they can with the information they have

I believed everyone was doing the best they could with the information they had when I asked myself if I was.

I found I was doing the best I could even when I felt misunderstood and was continually in conflict with others. However, when I sought and found additional information, I was then able to experience better relationships and conditions and was able to shift my life toward becoming exponentially more positive and therefore more ideal.

A key to gaining additional information was to stop telling myself the story of what I no longer desired and began telling one that reflected my ideals. To this I added the faculties of imagination and visualisation as well as meditating on feeling the feelings of my wishes fulfilled.


Update 3:  From Nobody knows anything to Every man is my teacher

I knew just how little I and others knew when I began gaining additional information about the Cause of Life.

Before that, it appeared to me that most folks were incompetent and ignorant. Now I know, as mentioned above, that they were also doing the best they can and I have changed my perception to folks are my mirror reflecting back at me an array of available states of consciousness or personalities within a sophisticated contextual field we call Earth.

The truth is we all know things, many things in fact and it is these things (based on our thoughts, beliefs and values) that are shaping our life for negative, positive, or even more positive experiences.

Today, I understand that everyone is my teacher because everything they say and do has the capacity to teach me something else about myself.


Update 4:  From Should-ing all over others to Teaching what I want to learn most

When you use the word should with someone next, I invite you to take a moment to repeat the same sentience to yourself. For example, "you should watch what you say in front of the kids" to "I should watch what I say in front of the kids." Or, "You really should look after your health." to "I really should look after my health."

To stop should-ing all over others it is necessary ultimately to eliminate the word from our vocabulary altogether. When Anthony or I use this word on the odd occasion these days we are pretty quick to pick it up and correct our language. Using the word should seems disempowering and doesn’t feel friendly and uplifting. We found that using it somehow implies wrong doing, disappointment, shame or regret.

Words that are empowering and can easily replace it are Could, Can, Might, May and Will. For example, "You might watch what you say in front of the kids" or "You really could look after your health more." and "I can watch my thoughts and words more closely."

These days, I teach what I want to learn most by sharing blogs, posting status updates, having consultations, coaching sessions, or presenting someone with options via text, email or phone.  Each time I know I am telling them what I need to learn most. So I listen carefully to what all parities have to say because there is bound to be gold in it for me too.


Update 5:  From Hear me. Hear me. Hear me to Seek first to understand before being understood

When I first became a student of mental science (new thought), including metaphysics, I wanted everyone to know and feel the information and liberation that came with this ancient wisdom. I had a drum to beat that was inspirational and fun so I got around in a bit of a hear me or suffer in your ignorance type approach.

These days, believe it or not :o), I am quieter than I was, especially in social settings. I prefer to seek first to understand where someone is at on a particular topic or subject and then, if and when appropriate, share another model of the world that also exists and is assisting us achieve our desires at home, in business, and in relationship.


Update 6:  From Come on, I'll show you who is better to There is no competition only personal best

With a shawl of Everyone is incompetent and ignorant around my shoulders; a keen dancer; and an older sibling, I learnt competition young.

I learnt early about winning and losing, kill or be killed, and I enjoyed collecting medals, trophies and accolades.

Today, I understand that there is no one coming to take my place or play my part. I know that there is not another soul in the universe who is here to do what only I can do. Therefore, I also now know that there is no rush, no threat, and no competition. It is my personal best efforts alone that produce my conditions and outcomes.


Update 7:  From No! to Yes, and...

There was a period when Anthony & I began noticing that we were unintentionally making each other wrong in communication.  For example, we may be chatting about something and one of us would make a suggestion. Our conversations went from responding with something like, “No! I think we should do Y.”  to “Yes, that’s a good option, we need to consider this and that, and another option could be…”.

When we decided to act like best friends, and lovers, we began chatting with each other rather than talking at each other. The magic is in the couple when united values are based on love and beauty.  It is in this way that our chats that used to lead to arguments now lead us perfectly to an approach that meets our needs and desires as well as producing pleasant conversations…


In closing:  Self awareness is not something we can bestow on another, nor can we decide when another will have the experience. Those who know us also know that Anthony & I believe the magic is in the couple or the partnership (whatever form this takes) because while all awakening is golden, when we can experience this with our most beloved, or a mutually invested partner for example, to us this means having a constant best friend by our side to experience the highs and lows with, keeping each other buoyant and on track with what we say is ideal, and that special someone to cry and to celebrate with.

On our journey these precious moments became, and continue to be, our saving grace.

until I post again…
May all your relationships be joyful ones; and
Live the Life you Love
J. x

Relationship Blueprints

Part 1 of 2

At Universal Truths, we believe, through studying and consultations, that all disharmony in relationship, from upset to hatred and individuals to nations, stems from a mismatch in personal values (that which is important to us individually).

I've been reworking this Relationships Blueprint blog for some time now considering the most succinct manner in which I can share seven years of study and observation as well as experiences and findings on this subject concisely enough to produce a blog or two of around 800 words each.  More than half a dozen approaches must have come to me since commencing it the day after the previous blog was posted.

Relationships, although not the last of this Blueprint series, is the ultimate one because Life itself is about who we are being in relation to everyone and everything.  Our health, our work, our spirituality, our finances, and our many and varying relationships are all dependent on the manner in which we view and relate to these subjects.

Another fundamentally important aspect of relationships is the subject of communication because we communicate in alignment with our state of consciousness (who we perceive ourselves to be at any given point in time) and many people get, intellectually at least, that it's not what we say that counts so much as how we say it.  Therefore, the quality of all relationships are influenced by our ability to express ourselves in and through them.

By living in awareness of the laws that govern all life, we have come to know - intellectually and experientially - that the world and everyone we encounter is merely a reflection of our perceived self.  Conditions and people are our mirror image and tell us where we are up to or how we are tracking against what we think and say is "ideal".  An example of this is that I spent a period of my life believing people were angry and rude and the moment I began to eliminate anger and any form of rudeness from by expressions (facial, tonality, physical etc.) is the moment I began encountering different experiences. It took me many years to get to a place where I could accept this "mirror image" concept fully and today there is not shred of doubt left in me that this is a Universal Truth.  Don't take my word for it though, test it for yourself...

Who we are being, through the personalities we express, are yet again a composition of learnt values and behaviours. Our thoughts about a person, a place, a race, a country, alternative spiritual beliefs, sexual preferences, body piercing, hairstyles, fashion, tattooing, body compositions, public displays of affection, the rich man, the poor man, the beggar man, and the thief are, like all blueprints, initially taught to us, learnt and adopted.

To change what I see, hear, feel, know and reflect to myself about others, I change myself.  I have done this enough times now to know that every man is my teacher, reflecting to me a potential state of consciousness. Depending on the thoughts, feelings, and meaning I give to how someone else chooses to express themselves tells me where I am up to in my beliefs about whatever aspect of life they are expressing.  If I make a judgement, i.e. my thoughts and feelings are about them, I place my power to make a change outside of me.  If instead I make an observation, i.e. I view what is being said or done as merely an interesting way to express oneself, I empower myself to consider what I'm seeing, hearing, thinking, feeling about this tells me about myself.  I then become the change I wish to see in others - while not surprising anymore I am constantly amazed by the power these laws have to change my conditions. The understanding and implementation of judgements vs observations played and continues to play an integral part in living an ideal life.

When I first returned to the 'Big Smoke' recently to engage with the movers and shakers of our central business district or corporate world with my new found knowledge and skills, I was consumed by the public display of contrast available. The homeless, the shoppers, the buskers, the money collectors and so on and then, once inside a high rise, engaging with collegues, peers, senior executives as well as CEOs and an array of consultants and service providers who wish to converse and do business with us.  The world is our contextual field from which to define and design our ideals.

As a child I learnt judgment over observation. I was taught what was "right" and "wrong" sometimes with conflicting messages and demonstration. I was taught that what goes on in our home, stays in our home and this taught me how to live more than 'One Life'.  It was the days when visitors would just pop in because they were "in the neighbourhood".  The full blown argument that was occurring a one moment ago was set aside to act as though all was harmonious.  This could go on for hours before the visitors left and the arguing was picked up where things left off.

Within the past seven years I have learnt to live 'One Life' and maintain my centre of peace on a more consistent bases.  Once I could change my state of consciousness from "I feel great", to "I feel lousy" and everything in between many times a day. Now peace and contentment are my base achieved by exchanging swinging states of consciousness with regularly checking that my thoughts and emotions are aligned to my clearly defined ideals about how I wish to be perceived and relate to others - all human beings regardless of their current state of consciousness (who they believe themselves to be), or their race, skin colour, religious and sexual preferences and so on.

Who and how I relate with and to others is critical to Living a Life I Love. I have become more tolerant and compassionate by becoming engaging and genuinely curious and interested in other people's story.  I now understand that we are all living our dream life however for some this means nirvana while for others this is hell but all are derived by the same laws that govern life, whether we know them or not.  Our current conditions are derived from what we belief to be true and think about with feeling and are as temporary as our current thoughts about these subjects.

In Part 2 of Relationship Blueprints I'll relate more specifically to how blueprints affect our intimate relationships.

until I post again…
Live the Life you Love
J. x

The Waiting Game

A blog about Manifestation

The greatest fascination I have currently, regarding the Law of Attraction, New Thought, or Mental Science, is the speed at which it takes to manifest our desired objects, relationships and conditions.

Is there a way to determine or influence how long it takes for our "stuff" to show up?

I honestly believe there is, and one of the ways I am applying and improving this process is by gaining a greater understanding of the Natural Law of Growth as well as getting into the Spirit of a Thing.

Allow me to explain my interpretation of the Natural Law of Growth concept with these examples...

Simply put, if my desire is to draw to myself an ideal role, optimum health, a gazillion dollars, or a fabulous relationship, I must first become this person in my imagination.

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. ~ Proverbs 23:7

In doing so I will Grow into these roles naturally by attracting or drawing to me the right and perfect resources (people, places, information, funds etc.) and conditions (objects, opportunities, roles, learings, timing etc.) required to Be this person, Do these activities, and Have these experiences.

While today marks day four of my "ideal role" (a stepping stone to my grander aspirations of service), I rehearsed the role on and off (a significant inhibitor to speedy manifestation) for about six months in my imagination prior to it showing up in our three dimensional existence. I have been practicing on stage for three more months and only now beginning to gain some real clarity about how this is contributing to what my version of highest personality and "ideal" is.

During this time I have been observing a variety of feelings, especially in the past few weeks, and the ones I am specifically interested in right now are in regard to the three hours of travel required to get to and from my place of service.

When I consider "what's ideal" for the next phase of this journey, it is evident after 12 weeks that three hours travel, even though I utilise these moments productively, is not "ideal" for five days straigt, week in week out.

This part of the process we call Awareness. I am Aware that I would rather a different travel schedule.

My desired outcome in this role is to provide exceptional service. In doing so, I believe it will generate feelings of appreciation for my knowledge, skills and talents and also reflect desirable conditions of being highly valued - a reflection of the amount and style of value I am and will continue offering and delivering.

In Being and Doing what I next desire...what would be really ideal...is to Have access to an inner city abode, as well as the haven and expanse that the mountain cabin provides. This way, I can achieve greater flexibility in relation to office hours enabling me to perform my duties and provide the Executive I support with even greater service and value.

My first tendency when I thought of this was still to consider "how" this was going to happen. Although I know "how" is not my responsibility, I am now recognising that there are degrees of "how". Recognising and surrendering all attempts to control or dictate "how" a desired condition objectifies itself is what I'm addressing right now.

My role in this glorious, delectable Play called "Life" is to contemplate my undesirable condition from an uncritical place of observation.

Instead of thinking and saying things like, "we may not be able to afford it" and "it's not like someone is going to just give us a place", instead I clearly define "what". What's ideal? What do I now desire?

Here's what I am doing at present to surrender and release "how", in all its disguises.

An initial thought that came to me about a city abode was, "I desire a fully furnished apartment, on a top floor, free of charge."

By the natural Law of Growth this has evolved into, "My Loving Father/Mother willing provides me with the perfect abode, in the perfect place, in the perfect way, under grace, knowing that my deepest desires include:

• To be in walking distance to the office
• To have access to a large private balcony or private rooftop space
• That the premises is new and fresh or aged and funky (warehouse style)
• Lots of natural lighting
• Reliable hot water, heating and cooling
• Reliable Internet access
• Easy access; and
• A car space

That or Better!

And, in a way I do not know, you do not know, no man knows,
it will harden into fact!

In my next post I'll share what I do to get into the Spirit of this thing called "My ideal city abode!"

until I post again...
Live a Life you Love
J. x

Imagining for Another

I was going to share about the Natural Law of Growth today and used my morning hour train ride to tell you how I've been applying this to manifest an "ideal" next step regarding my new corporate role. How quick an hour passes by these days. 

In the meantime however, a subject of far greater urgency came to the forefront and so the hour trip home, and some, have been dedicated to this matter of monumental importance.   

You see Gabriella Salmon desires a man! And she's written to the Universe to bring her love forth. That's right, my Clayton's Lil Sis (aka GabStar, and a host of other terms of endearment) assured me today, and no doubt others, in her Post "A Single Story" that she is soooo ready to receive a partner that to save her from bursting at the seams, I'm sharing instead about the importance of being able to "Imagine for One Another".

Neville Goddard, in and amongst a plethora of other outstanding new thought thinkers, who assures us that "Imagination is the only reality".  He goes so far as to say that it is the one and only Cause of Life and all it's presenting conditions.  He also tells us to give all our attention to the assumption that a thing is so, because all responsibility to make it so is completely removed from our shoulders. 

 

"You do not have to make a thing so, it IS so. You appropriate what is already fact, and walk in the assumption that it is, and in a way that you do not know, I do not know, no man knows, it becomes objectified in your world."

My partner and most beautiful friend, Anthony, Co-founder of Universal Truths, is a man who has elicited the best-worst and the best-of-my-best from me. He has also "Imagined for me" on many, many occasions.  Whenever I speak of desiring a better condition from something or someone, and knowing the importance of being able to move away from desiring and toward gratitude, he holds me in "ideal", he Imagines well for me and holds the feeling of the wish fulfilled for me; as I do for him.

On our own this is not always a simple task.  After all, we are emotionally invested in outcomes and are not always able to detach from the temporary conditions that show the absence of what we desire.  Having studied these concepts deeply, and tried and tested them with convincing results, I am going to join with the young Gabriella by Imagining "ideal" for her - and I invite you to do the same. 

We don't have to know someone personally to do this. It's as simple as thinking about, or imagining what it would be like when any person's deepest desire transpires. It's as simple as choosing a final scene of sorts that would indicate to you that a young, passionate woman has found a new love. 

In doing so there is also something in this for each of us...it's a great opportunity to turn our thoughts away from our own all consuming world for a moment and practice experiencing the joy, expectation and gratitude of "wishes fulfilled" through someone else.

We are told that as we sow, so shall we reap.  The Subconscious Mind doesn't recognise whether what we give our attention to is for us or for another; it simply attracts a vibrational match. So while we are assisting someone else get what they want we are also priming ourselves, vibrationally, to get what we want. 

For me this now means that every time I hear, see, think or speak of Gabbie, I will say "and her beautiful partner". I'm beginning now to imagine her smiling and laughing a lot. I'm visualising us speaking on the phone about him and being visited on the mountain by them. We'll read posts of their adventures together as they grow and become.

I believe there is no faster way to grow and become a greater version of ourselves then in relationship. And so, my desire for Gabbie is her desire for herself. I know and trust it's for her highest good, come what may.

I see you Gabbie, just as I see others and hold them in "ideal". I'm imagining well for you - oh she who is now metamorphosing from her steel shelled cacoon, to the essence of power and presence that can only be found through the display of femininity, gentleness and beauty. 

Rest well fair maiden for your knight in shining armor awaits to arouse you. [pun intended] :)

until I post again...
Live the Life you Love
J. x

Who Am I Being?

"Keys to a Better Life" 

"All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you." ~ don Miguel Ruiz

Following a number of conversations and observations recently, I’ve been reminded of how much we are generally conditioned to spend our time discerning who someone else is being. By our comments, often unconsciously, we remark about whether or not we perceive others as being a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ friend, partner, parent, grandparent, child, sibling, business owner, boss, colleague, politician, community representative and so on…

Over the past decade or so, I have been introduced and reintroduced to the concept, from a plethora of sources, that everyone and everything is my mirror. That is, all things and conditions are a direct reflection of what I think about and radiate about who I am. Having spent many hours contemplating this concept, and integrating it into my life, it became evident to me through these conversations, just how little (if any) time I now spend concerned with or about what or who someone else is being.

Instead, what has transpired is that I have become acutely aware of other people’s self expression but only for the purpose of providing me with a contextual field i.e. when I hear about, read a Facebook post or Blog from, listen to, or have a direct interaction with another, I use what my physical senses are transmitting to revalue and refine who I am being.

As an example, several people have been sharing their challenges and experiences with me in relation to their mothers, some of who are also their children’s grandparent. Our initial response to these conditions, based on our prior conditioning, often puts us in the position of being critical of what the other has said or done - usually a clear indication that a values conflict has occurred – leaving us open to slights, insults or getting sucked into their drama.

When we consider large concepts like, “everyone and everything is a reflection of who I am being”, and begin implementing and testing these concepts throughout our own life, we gain an insight into even larger concepts such as “I am the centre of my universe”. Doing so gives us an opportunity to recognise that everything that has every occurred, is occurring, and will occur is for the sole/soul purpose of causing our expansion and evolution toward a higher expression of the Self, through us.

Rather than reacting to old conditioning and continually drawing to us old and undesirable conditions, we can begin to dissolve them, not by critiquing or judging whether or not someone else is being a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ friend, partner, parent, grandparent, child, sibling, business owner, boss, colleague, politician, community representative and so on; but rather using their reflection to further become aware of, Who am I being as a … and, when we recognise there may be moments when we too are being impatient, unloving, uncaring, rude, hurtful, ignorant etc. we then get to ask, from a place of uncritical observation, Who do I now wish to be.

In this way, instead of spending our time contemplating who someone ‘should be’, we begin investing our time designing and refining our next best expression of our Self.

Related posts:

Have you been sucked into the Vortex lately?
Judgement Vs Observation
We don’t smash the mirror
God send nothing but angels

until next time…
Live the Life you Love
J. x

Whose Got Personality…?

 

"Keys to a Better Life"

When I find myself challenged by, or taking a disliking to, someone's personality style, I choose to recognise who they really are and what it is they are in my life to teach me about myself.

I have come to understand that there is not a single person in my life that isn’t here for a reason. I also recognise that what I resist persists and the reason it does is because our conditions are "Sign Posts" that reveal temporary states of consciousness we have assumed about our self.

When I resist someone, I know it is due to my thoughts, values and beliefs (states of consciousness) about me, and them, and that instead of making an observation, I have made a judgement ("Judgements VS Observations"). 

When I come from a place of Love, I immediately begin to gather learnings through insight, rather than through pain.

So, when my interactions with another produce feelings of annoyance, frustration, disapproval, anger or what not, I change these undesirable conditions by addressing the Cause.

The First Cause of all my conditions, the undesirable and the desirable ones alike, are the thoughts I have with feeling. I then become Aware of exactly what it is I seemingly dislike and I name it, for example:

• He’s lazy
• He’s nasty
• She’s controlling
• She doesn’t say ‘hello’
• They don’t talk to me
• They’re too quiet
• They don’t recognise the value I bring
• And so on… 

With my Awareness (Key No. 1) list produced, in writing, from a place of Uncritical Observation (Key No. 2) I consider the stories I’ve been telling myself about these perceived dislikeable personality traits.  By doing so I am able to identify the thoughts and feelings that produced these temporary conditions.

Generally, we are taught to only change our conditions, yet conditions are second cause and no matter what we do to change or retain them, we are challenged to do so on a permanent basis.  Even when the problem at hand appears to be gone, in what will feel like no time at all we are likely to reproduce a new set of conditions, including new faces and names, that generate the same old undesirable feelings.  Have you every changed your job, your car, your home, or your partner in the hope of a new start, a better feeling, more enjoyable conditions - only to reproduce undesirable ones again.

The problem is we try to change the other when there is no other, there’s only one of us getting around in seemingly separate vehicles we call physical bodies however this is an illusion based on limited teaching. There is much evidence, including that of a scientific nature that tells us we are all intricately connected through and by one cosmic ether or energy.

So to make any changes to anyone, or anything, outside of us we are to change the Cause - The First Cause; our Thoughts about them.

When I need to change my thoughts about someone, in order to change my outer conditions, I go inside.  I recognise the place Love reside in me and contemplate what do I now desire (Key No. 3) and wish to experience with this person. I begin thinking about what it would be like to have a lovely relationship with this other; without comparing it to or needing it to be like any other relationship I know. I think about how this great relationship makes me feel. The more I consider what it sounds, looks, and feels like to have a desirable relationship it will also be revealed to me who I am to Be and what I am to Do and Say differently that would assist produce different outcomes - ones I now thoroughly enjoy.

This person carries keys and gifts to my healing and wholeness...and I know they come bearing gifts, because if they didn’t they wouldn’t be playing a prominent role in my life.

"God’s sends nothing but Angels" – NDW

To complete the Awareness is the key and all the rest is 1, 2, 3 process, every time I think of this person, I live in the feeling of my wish fulfilled that we now enjoy a terrific relationship. I give thanks (Key No. 4) to that higher part of me and Creator of all things that makes what I think about with feeling a reality, and produces like conditions in my life…for mine and everyone’s greater enjoyment.

until my next post…
Live the Life you Love
J. x

A Little Ray of Sunshine

has come into the world…


"Keys to a Better Life" 

A few months ago, one of the amazing women in my life invited me to assist her birth her first born child naturally.  As she is a student of Life and very dear friend of Universal Truths (the laws and principles that govern Cause & Effect), I was deeply honoured.

On Saturday, the 28^th of January 2012, an extension of Spirit, conceived in the exact same manner all things are – first by thought, and then by feeling, by taking divinely inspired action, and by remaining faithful to these thoughts and feelings – was expressed in the form of a precious little baby girl who was birthed naturally in water.

There were many realisations that occurred to me throughout the day. One of these was just how far off track we have wandered in some instances and just how much closer to our true nature we are evolving in others.

It was the intention of the mother-to-be that this experience be as non-invasive to her and her child as possible. As the day unfolded, the more sacred the event I was witnessing and actively got involved in, became.

The more connected I became with the birthing mum, the more intense the feeling of Oneness grew.  Whilst this tiny little physical vehicle was being designed and developed through the most intricate and orderly scientific, biological and Divinely Intelligent processes over the past nine months, we knew the greater part of her remained directly connected to the Spirit of Life.

Knowing and trusting played a great part in this glorious event. 

As we continue to keep our thoughts as connected and progressive as our ‘work in progress’ status enables us to, the sacredness of the day and the knowing and trusting in our Oness continues.

Whilst there may be moments in the past 48 hours that may be considered less than ‘ideal’ for this new mum, as she remains progressive, focussed, and lovingly responsive, the one and only Source of all things (with whom we connect via our consciousness) continues to co-produce one beautiful condition after another.

Thank you and Congratulations Beautiful Lady! A very warm welcome to this Little Ray of Sunshine that has come into the world!

 

Until next time…
Life the Life you Love
J x

Cause & Effect…

"Keys to a Better Life"

When we feel certain frustrations, we have a tendency to think that making changes to the conditions will fix everything. This is attempting to live by the law of effect & cause which is a reverse of the actual Law.

Using any law back-to-front produces back-to-front results. While it is true that changing our actions can generate changes to our conditions (effects)…our actions are not the First Cause of our experiences.

Acting better is as long term effective as thinking better;
both are surface level changes that produce temporary improvement.

First Cause consists of nouns and adjectives such as Being and Knowing so, when we change the reason (Cause) that attracted the undesirable conditions to us in the first place, we are sure to experience different conditions that ultimately generate more and lasting desirable results and feelings.

To change our unwanted conditions and outcomes, easily and elegantly and with lasting change, it is imperative we use the Law correctly. As it is the Law of Cause & Effect, we are to first contemplate the thoughts we have with feelings about the topic in hand, be it at home, at work, or in relationship. Following this key step we call 'Awareness', the rest is 1, 2, 3 * - all of which, in turn, cause us to take different actions which, in turn attract different conditions, and result in ongoing improved experiences and feelings.

Cause > Effect

Thoughts with feeling drive our words and actions
which attract, produce or reflect like conditions - (people, places and events).

Make 2012 about you, because we can't give what we haven't got and,
until next time...
Live the Life you Love!
J. x


* to read Posts about the Universal Truths "Keys to a Better Life" - Awareness + 1, 2, 3 click on Awareness (Part 2 of 5) or My Ideal Week, type Awareness in the Search field, or click on the Awareness Category from any page.

The Straw that Broke the Camel’s Back

 
"Keys to a Better Life"

Identifying our values is a key to designing a ‘better life’.  So why is it that identifying what’s important to us can sometimes deliver challenges before delivering the peace, contentment and happiness we seek to achieve?

In my experience this occurs when:

a) the values we establish are truly our own, making them more important to us and worthy of greater investment than the ones we’ve adopted or inherited from others through life; and

b) we haven’t considered new boundaries and implemented a plan for inviting others to recognise and value what’s important to us.

For an explanation about establishing our own values you may find “What’s Important to You?” worthy of visiting or revisiting.

This Blog Post is dedicated to part b):

Developing boundaries and a plan for inviting others,
primarily our partner and children, to recognise and honour our values. 

I’ll use an example to deliver my point. I identify that one thing that’s important to me at home is that the place is kept clean and tidy.  This is the first step from the Universal Truths “Keys to a Better Life” – Awareness. 

The next step is to make an Uncritical Observation of what is.  For example, when activities required in the kitchen are not attended to i.e. the dishwasher isn't stacked and emptied, other dishes aren't washed up, bench tops aren't wiped down, the rubbish isn't taken out etc., or are left to me to attend to, it conflicts with what I have identified as important to me.

Another example could be that dirty clothes are left on the bathroom or bedroom floor instead of being placed in a dirty clothes basket again conflicting with what may have been identified as being important for maintaining, as a minimum, a clean and orderly home.

Our homes, cars, careers/vocations, partners, and everything else in our life are extensions of our personality. They represent who we are and the orderliness or chaos of our thinking which create our conditions.

As a next step, identify, “what do I now desire?”  An example here could be that I desire, for this season in my life at least, that each capable member of the household takes joint responsibility for the various kitchen activities and attending to and keeping their own clothes in a tidy and orderly manner.  By holding a picture in my mind and recognising the feelings that these conditions provide is certainly a critical part of the process.  Taking inspired action is another. So what is meant by the latter part?

My definition of inspired action is taking steps that produce my desired results in a joyful manner.  Namely, for these examples, this may include those actions that enable me to feel the preferred feelings and live in my preferred environment.  When I’ve identified clearly what I now desire, I expect new ideas to flow and I take action that feels uplifting, expanding, congruent, authentic, and joyful in place of those that feel uneasy, contracting, like a struggle, uphill, or against the current.

Some examples of inspired action related to these examples may include installing hooks, erecting shelves, purchasing a clothes valet or baskets, or perhaps placing clothes baskets in bedrooms or bathrooms to more easily accommodate.

It may involve having new conversations with family members to communicate my new desire and invite them to acknowledge and accept and/or provide them with an opportunity to present their ideal of what makes for a more pleasant relationship and living environment.

At some point, everyone needs to agree on at least one law. The natural Law of Cause & Effect whereby family members unwilling to play their part must accept the effects of their non compliance. And, everyone must clearly understand what will happen (the effect) if they don’t play their part.

In my early days in partnership, before I was in a relationship where both parties were committed to living a peace filled and joyful life, continually looking for ways to meet each other’s values without compromising their own, the effect I clearly communicated for clothes that were left lying around on the floor was that I would throw them into the backyard as a first step and into the rubbish bin as a follow up. 

Whatever effects you identify and communicate, be sure that you are willing to follow through.  I did!  I threw them into backyard once and clothes not longer littered our floors. Instead they were dealt with in an orderly fashion.

If spending time in the kitchen cooking and using lots of utensils and crockery doesn't work for you in this season of your life, think about what would minimise kitchen time.  During various seasons in our life, Anthony and I find that the slow cooker concept provides excellent time freedom and minimises the amount of time we spend in the kitchen. 

Instead of focussing on a problems, focus on the solution.

When all is said and done, and members capable of participating have committed to upholding one party's value as a unified one, whatever effects are established, they have to be ones you are willing to carry through and because the intention is to produce greater order and harmony, they must first be clearly communicated so that everyone understands what will happen if a team member doesn’t honour their commitment to their loved ones.

Anyone serious about living a “better life” always has clearly established values and boundaries in place as well as clearly established consequences if those values are encroached upon.  The effects or outcomes of having these boundaries crossed vary for person to person however, it’s important that they are established, communicated, and honoured by our self and others.

Relationships, especially partnerships are about what we can bring to the table, they are about enriching our experience as an individual, a couple and a family rather than looking for what we can take. If someone is unwilling to play their part in honouring what’s important to their loved ones and expanding their own life and environment in the process, perhaps the focus of the relationship is on taking rather than giving. 

Are you currently being a taker or a giver? And, what’s your limit before the straw breaks the camel’s back?